Today I am thinking aloud because I was planning to write a blog post yesterday on how I have the best socks in the world but I just couldn’t bring myself to – who wants to read about socks when you’ve just found out America has voted for Trump? I certainly didn’t want to write about them.
I woke up early to see the news and it quickly began to sink in – what everyone said could never happen, would never happen, happened. I felt close to tears when I thought about it. I still do. I am worried about Trump’s policies. I am worried about making abortion illegal, rolling back equal marriage rights, the impact of bombing the entire middle east without a thought for what happens next. But also, I’m more worried about what it means for the people that voted for Trump, and the next generation of boys and girls growing up.
This means that every man who talks about grabbing a woman’s pussy feels vindicated, that it is okay to say these things. It means young girls think that is the way the world is – this “locker room talk” is normal and to be expected, that they are just a piece of meat there for the validation and pleasure of some man.
It is a win for racism, sexism and homophobia. The biggest concern is that so many Americans listened to all these horrendous things Trump said, these awful things that even other Republicans had to distance themselves from, and they still voted for him. THEY STILL VOTED FOR HIM. It doesn’t make me angry, it makes me confused, and really very sad.
I am also, of course, thinking a lot about Brexit. Actually, for the US, I don’t think Trump will be as bad for the country as Brexit will be for the UK. At least it can only last a maximum of 8 years. But on the other hand, for Brexit there were valid non-bigoted reasons to vote, you did not have to be voting for a bigot to vote for Brexit. We are months on now and we still have no idea of what “Brexit means Brexit” means. I wonder how long until we find out Trump’s real policies.
What else am I thinking about? I passed out at the doctors’ on Tuesday, took ages to come round and hours to properly recover. I don’t think I’ve ever fainted properly before and it was horrible, and now with hindsight, fascinating. My mind went rushing down a tunnel, it was so visceral this feeling of speeding through a tunnel, everything narrowing to the point at the end, no longer actually in my mind on the doctor’s bed. Also no longer feeling the pain that caused me to pass out in the first place! Like falling asleep or being very very drunk.
Afterwards, I was shaky for ages, unable to sit up and so weak when I tried to walk. It took almost 2 hours until I was allowed to go home, and then I was still so cold and shaky. All the heating on, 3 jumpers and under a thick duvet and I was still so cold for hours. I felt normal again about 5 hours later and completely fine when I woke up the next day.
On some more positive thoughts – I have been itching to get out on a run and start exercising again. I miss being outside and feeling strong and fast – and its only been 10 days! A good little rest for my body, to eat all the food, drink lots of wine and spend some time outside hiking in Mallorca (more on that soon) but my sore foot is now better and I am raring to go!
On that positive note, I’ve managed to distract myself from the sheer awfulness of the news – I am going to go for my first run post-marathon tomorrow and then get drunk and talk about work and running and nothing to do with politics – as I’m in the UK that’s the best thing I can do these days!!!